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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

muhasabah (after sitting and thinking)

i've sit and think a lOt tOday.

i am disappOinted with the spa result. i am alsO depressed with my current state. i have nO jOb, my hand still haven't fully recOver and aches a lOt this few days, my cheek feels like a lOg, my wedding preparatiOn is nOt finished yet and my future plan is still nOt cleared. i am depressed.

then, i read kimberly's blOg. she reminded me that i'm still lucky than Others in this wOrld. even thOugh i have a lOt Of scars, aching hand, nO jOb, but still i am lucky tO have families and friends whO always stand by me. i'm getting married; i shOuld be thankful fOr this rezeki. and i am even luckier tO have Allah whO will always stand by me. lOOking back Of my life after the incident, i shOuld be grateful that at least i am nOt handicapped. i thank tO Allah the Almighty fOr saving me frOm that terrible accident. this is like a secOnd chance fOr me tO live in this beautiful wOrld He has created tO His creatures.

i cannOt lOst hOpe fOr what is in stOre fOr me is yet far mOre fOr me tO discOver if Allah bless me with lOng life. this is Only the beginning Of my new life. like Kimberly said, maybe i feel like my life is cOlOurless than Others but actually my life is alsO painted with cOlOurs. it's just that mine is nOt cOlOured like Others. mine is different cOs Allah has created me tO be different frOm Others. i will lead my Own life. it is a jOurney fOr me tO be taken. and i cannOt stOp frOm taking this jOurney tO Allah. praise be tO Him.

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